Most people naturally prefer to live in comfort zones, myself included. They are predictable and create an illusion of security, making them enjoyable in the present. But if there is anything that I’ve learned over the past four or five years (besides not going out to the bars the night before an exam or friends don’t let friends drunk munch, both of which are very important life lessons), it’s that what makes us comfortable and offers security in the present doesn’t necessarily turn into happiness and contentment in the future. In fact, it’s painfully obvious in retrospect that every great moment/feeling/experience in my life has stemmed from stepping outside of it (whether I wanted to at the time or not) and embracing the short-lived discomfort and confusion.
#truth, from reallifecoaching.com
Making that step out of a comfort zone seems counterintuitive and often really really sucks at first, because it usually entails facing a fear, or multiple fears. Failure. Embarrassment. Loneliness. [Insert applicable term here.] Each time I find myself approaching that precipice – that moment when I know I have to make the choice to either take the leap or stay where I am – I am reminded of one of my favorite quotes; a quote that has helped me jump through hoops of discomfort of many different shapes and sizes over the years because of its undebatable truth.
It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power. – Alan Cohen
Solo backpacking through Southeast Asia is my next hoop, and the next step in creating a more meaningful life for myself.
I knew I was going to take time to travel before fully committing to “The Real World”. See, the funny thing about life is that it ramps up really quickly, and regardless of our forethought and preparation, the intensity always feels a bit unexpected. These first few months after graduation are somewhat of a lull since they represent a transition – even those who jumped straight into the workforce and have already begun working know what I’m talking about…we’re real adults, but not so real that we understand insurance claims and taxes. (Honestly, the only thing separating the superior from the average in our 20s is who is better at pretending that we know what we’re doing.) Without school, which has been buzzing in the background of my life like an incredibly obnoxious bee for the past eighteen years, we’re now at the lowest level of responsibility that we’ll probably ever be at. I’m not particularly responsible for anyone, and not so many people hold me responsible for things that I can’t just up and leave. That will change, probably sooner than later, so I figure I should get my kicks in now while I can.
I’ve always loved to travel, and see undeniable value in exploring the world and new cultures. Luckily, I grew up with family that encouraged me to do so. Taking time between chapters in my life to go explore new places and cultures was a no-brainer for me. When I come home, I will be ready to be selfless and dedicated to everything and everyone else. I will still be choosy when picking what I am committing to, but I will have fewer lingering curiosities and “what-ifs” to hold me back from giving myself 100% to whatever I end up doing.
But why Southeast Asia, you ask? I’m going to gloss over how beautiful and culturally rich the region is in order to hammer away at the real reason: Southeast Asia doesn’t just represent a beautiful part of the world that I’ve yet to see, but a deep-rooted fear of mine. It is my discomfort zone. I am terrified of the idea that I may not be as independent and adaptable as I’ve always thought, in both my personal and professional lives. I want to be confident in my ability to handle whatever crazy shit gets thrown my way in life, and I think the key is to inch out of my comfort zone with experiences that teach me flexibility and composure – such as traveling by myself to a place that I’m much less comfortable in than, say, traditional Western and Eastern European destinations. A trip to those areas would cause me little to no amount of concern or trepidation; that is not the case with Southeast Asia. Essentially, I want to force myself out of my comfort zone enough times in one summer that I come home ever more confident in my ability to “do life”. The fact that it scares me is what intrigues me and has convinced me that I must continue.
And finally, the question that has prompted countless people to flambé me with personal safety lectures: “why the fuck are you going alone?” Well, part of this answer relates to what I said before, about needing confidence on my own two feet. But there’s more to it. It may be surprising to those who met me sometime in the last three years, but I grew up my entire life with stranger danger. (Seriously, ask anyone in my family and they will tell you that I spent most of my childhood scared shitless of new places and faces, certain that something terrible was going to happen to me. I turned all the lights on when I was alone until the day I graduated high school and called my mom when our house creaked the wrong way, convinced that an axe murderer was waiting for me behind the stairwell. I even played a game for years where I’d pick out something physically memorable for every person I ever came in contact with, so if they chose to set the Macy’s on fire, I’d be able to identify them…like seriously, I was disturbed. Anywho.) Over time, I chipped away at this fear. I studied abroad. I took personal travels alone to different countries with major language barriers. Hell, I pretty routinely walk home on the streets of downtown Atlanta after 3am (which is probably way more dangerous than the others). I never became less observant or paranoid, but I stopped letting my fears paralyze me.
It took me awhile to realize, but there is a line between protecting my life and preventing myself from living life.
I don’t want to be scared of the world or what it can do to me. I think that learning to do research and educate myself to mitigate as much risk as possible is more beneficial in the long term than staying in my corner of the world forever. In fact, I want to be confused, lost, nervous and afraid (within reason). I want those things because I need them; they are step one of a two-step process to becoming comfortable with anything, anywhere, and involving anyone. This trip is about finding flexibility when I’ve just about run out of it and learning to adapt when all I want is something to go my way. It’s about encouraging contentment with myself, and arriving at that stage in life where I am completely comfortable being anywhere in the world with just myself and my thoughts. Undoubtedly, there will be low points when I’m scared, lonely, or lost in the most literal sense of the word, but I’m 100% certain that I will come back confident, healthy, renewed, and most importantly, content.
