When reflecting on my freshman year of college, I get caught somewhere between nostalgia, uncontrollable laughter, and an instinctual cringe. I knew so little, yet somehow managed to care even less.
Before leaving home, everyone was quick to offer their pearls of wisdom. Naturally, as soon as I set foot on campus, all of it dribbled out of my brain like — because of?? — the Cuervo down my chin. (You can tell I’m talking about 18 year old me because I mentioned drinking tequila…it took awhile, but by now I’ve learned to just walk away from Satan’s potion.)
There are so many things that I wish I had been told – or had paid more attention to – when someone took the time to tell me. Some things I learned the hard way and others are nuggets of advice that I gleaned from friends, family, and coworkers over those four years. Regardless, the following is a list of things that ended up coming in handy (or would have, if I’d known about them) sometime along the bumpy, stupid, and incredibly awesome road that is collegiate life.
- Keep your textbooks. They are the start of a practical and vast library. It hurts to bite the bullet on buying rather than renting or to not get your money back at the end of the year, but they are tools to help you relearn what you never really learned because you were too busy staring at the lumberjack man with perfect facial hair across the room (sorry, is that just personal preference??) If you don’t care about books or having a library that smells of rich mahogany, well, that’s an entirely separate issue, and you’re dumb.
- What you learn outside the classroom is infinitely more important than inside. This is true in a few different ways. First, you should endeavor to work or intern in your field to gain an understanding of how what you’re learning applies to the real world. Second, much of what you need to know can’t be taught in a classroom because it’s experiential. Third, unless you plan to spend your entire life in a classroom, you should become familiar with getting out there and actually doing things. Theorizing, philosophizing, and planning are all valuable pursuits, but mean very little if you’re uncomfortable with executing.
- Treat your education like a 9 to 5 job. Don’t waste daylight hours away with sleep or distractions. Instead, spend your time before, between, and after classes taking care of various responsibilities, whether it’s homework, studying, a group meeting, or cleaning your room. Then, say yes to grabbing a beer with your friends, or whatever other fun things come your way.
- Live intentionally. You don’t have to have the plan for your life, just a plan. Think before you speak and act, but not so much that you miss the window of opportunity to speak or act. Wandering is fine; aimlessly so, is not. Make sure who you are, who you want to be, and who people perceive you as are as aligned as possible. Dissonance between the three is expected, but large amounts makes for a shitty time of dissatisfaction. As my dad used to say, momentum is more important than direction.
- Perception is your reality. It doesn’t really matter what or how you think about yourself; if that isn’t translating into how you’re actually perceived, you’re going to be frustrated. If you think you’re hilarious and kind, but your friends think you’re obnoxious and mean, you should either change your behavior or get new friends. I suggest the former.
- Take classes that interest you. Don’t waste your time and money by taking classes that are uninteresting or irrelevant to you just to boost your GPA unless you really need the grade cushion. Instead, spend your electives taking classes that you enjoy, even if they are difficult. (In my experience both as an undergrad and working alum, having a lower GPA but an impressive list of relevant work experiences trumps great grades and mediocre real world application.)
- Don’t get drunk when you’re in a funk. Speaking from personal experience and a large number of firsthand observations, it just doesn’t end well. I’m a firm believer that you should experiment a bit while you’re young. That being said, know your limits, and don’t use alcohol or drugs as enablers or means of avoidance. It may help in the short run, but I’ve seen it destroy people as time went on.
- Ditch the friends that make you feel bad. You’ll know ‘em when you meet ‘em, but that doesn’t make it easier to say goodbye. Just know that bad friendships are a powerful poison to every other area in your life.  There is no need for drama; just slowly cut the ties with people who don’t (and won’t) do for you what you do for them or who don’t bring anything to the table. You may even become friends again one day in the future, but that can only happen if the relationship ends peacefully rather than imploding.
- Unless you have a very specific career goal in mind, don’t stress about your major. Most people end up working in a field outside their studies anyway. What’s more important is cultivating a variety of experiences and a sense of confidence in your ability to self-teach, learn, adapt, and lead. Get pre-reqs out of the way for any career you have interest in (such as science classes for pre-med), and the rest isn’t too terribly important if you don’t have a specific career to shoot for.
- Friends don’t let friends drunch (drunk munch). Alcohol + late night snacking + next morning food & alcohol hangover = freshmen 45. Yes, I said 45, and no, I will not show you my firsthand photographic evidence of this incredible phenomenon. You’ll just have to trust me on this one.
- You (and your friends) will change more within each five-month period than you did in all of high school. Embrace it. College is basically a big vacuum of growing up and self-realization. It’s okay to wake up two years into college and realize that your opinion on politics or one night stands or cheap Mexican food has changed. It’s normal.
- Ask yourself “why?â€Â Get down to the basic, fundamental reasoning behind your thoughts, actions, or feelings, particularly those you want to change. Say you’re really upset because you made a bad grade on a paper or you’re really pissed at your roommate for something. Ask yourself why you’re so upset, then question your answer, and question that answer as well, until you find the fundamental explanation or cause of something. Legal professionals aside, if there is anyone you really shouldn’t bullshit, it’s yourself.
- Take advantage of the resources around you. I can’t think of another time in life when you’re surrounded by so much [free] support and supplementation. Libraries, professors, counselors, diverse peers, organizations, etc. Utilize all of those things and learn whatever you can about everything in front of you.
- Meet people, and make them feel important.  Remember the saying “people don’t remember what you did or said but how you made them feel”? We are reciprocal creatures; the best way to get love/respect/appreciation is to give it away. Every person you meet may be the next Steve Jobs or Bill Gates. Do you want Steve Jobs or Bill Gates to like you and hire you? The answer is yes, yes you do.
You’ll get over it. - Trust your gut and take chances. If all you do is stay in your little bubble of people/places/things that look/think/act exactly how you’re used to, you’re missing out. Oh, you want to study abroad but don’t know anyone participating? Do it! Have the opportunity to work for a new company you’ve never heard of but checks off every box on your list? Go for it! Interested in running for president of an organization? Sign up! Do the things that kind of scare you in that “hmm, I’m not sure I’m completely ready” kind of way. The older you get, the harder it is to bounce back from making “the wrong choice” (if there even is such a thing, I mean, hello fate!), and the less likely you are to take chances.
So that’s it, those are some of the things I’d wish I’d known years ago (hindsight is always 20/20, right?) At the end of the day, they all boil down into three things: work hard, enjoy life, and never stop growing yourself as a kind, confident, contributing member of society.
What do YOU wish you’d known way back in the day?
xx
