I’m going up on a soapbox here. I never mentioned this to anyone outside my immediate family, but a few months ago out of sheer laziness I posted a link to review my services on Thumbtack instead of sending it directly to those that I’ve worked with. I figured it was the easiest way to get in touch with the twenty-or-so people I’d worked with and was Facebook friends with. Five-star reviews poured in, and then a notification that I’d received a one-star review popped up. My heart pounded as I clicked to read the accompanying words.

‘I guess Daddy’s money can’t buy talent.”

I won’t lie to you, I cried. I wanted to puke. It was eventually removed from my profile for violating Thumbtack’s content policy, as it was clearly a bogus review from a fake account with the sole intent of hurting me. But the review was right: my Daddy’s money can’t buy talent. The talents I have and business I created were earned through 12 hour days, working weekends, skipping out on seeing my friends, taking gigs without pay, and truly pouring everything I had into my job.

Anywho, all of that introductory shit is to say this:

I’m going to purge my Facebook. Clearly, I have too many friends on there that I share my life too openly with, and as much as I’d like to think you’re all good people, that’s just too good to be true. More importantly, if your goal is to simply “get rich”, I advise you to revise that.

I have been immeasurably fortunate in life — I’m not here to try to debate or skew that perception. I just want to shed some light on what it really is like to be “wealthy” since it is often a goal (if not THE goal) I hear people my age talk about. It’s been so glamorized by celebrities and the media that people don’t really understand the burdens it brings.

First and foremost, wealth does not create happiness or satisfaction, nor does it create an easy life. Having money is not an indicator of quality of ones life and it is not an escape route from all of the other rollercoaster variables in this life, such as death, divorce, mental illness, physical ailments, etc. To be happy and content in life takes real effort, and wealth is not substitute for that.

Now, let me paint a picture of the things you will experience should you become wealthy, because cyber bullying hatefulness such as that anonymous review doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface. Our holidays always have a stressful undertone with talk of business and finances. We’re responsible not just for our financial well-being but the hundreds of peoples’ that we employ.  And no matter what we do, how successful we become, or how much we give back to society, we will always — ALWAYS — feel guilty for the position we’re in. More importantly, people never miss the opportunity to remind us of why we should feel guilty for the position we’re in. To be rich is to be the enemy, for no substantiative reason. Just because.

I’ve been used and burnt so many times, yet I never learn because I really want to believe that shitty people are rarer than that. Being told “you’ve got this bill, right?” after a group dinner or night out was commonplace before I had the balls to find better friends. In fact, I pretty much funded one of my middle school neighbor’s wardrobes after I bought her one shirt (because I wanted to) and then she wanted more, and I continued to purchase her clothes out of my dwindling bank account because I felt like it was my duty. It’s even harder to watch people steal from (and when I say steal, I mean literally STEAL) and abuse the generosity of my family, who, as any of you who know us well would know, are far from perfect but have the biggest hearts full of compassion and love. No matter what or how much we give and help, we’re always pushed to do and give more.

What’s extra sad is that I had to sincerely debate even posting this out of fear that someone would read it and chalk it up to “oh wah, listen to the rich girl whine about her cushy life.” Don’t get me wrong, I have a fantastic life. But not because of the money. I have a supportive, encouraging, healthy family and friends who care about me as a person, with or without my wealth, and THAT is where I have been truly blessed.

Really, this post isn’t about me, and I’ve already spent too long talking about myself. I just wanted to share some personal anecdotes that get buried underneath the glamorization of being wealthy. I want you to understand that money isn’t everything and it does NOT create happiness. I want to open your eyes to how nasty money can make people. Look at what happened to Mark Zuckerberg when he made possibly the largest private donation to charity and global progression in our history. He was belittled for keeping his 1%, he was harassed for not giving away everything, and his motives were questioned. Is that the cynical world you want to live in?

The bottom line is this: Getting rich should never be your goal. Being respected in your field, finding your passion, being successful enough to provide for and raise a healthy family? THOSE are goals. Money is just a tool, nothing more. Being rich or poor has no bearing on character. Neither makes you better or worse, more or less deserving, happier or sadder than the next person on the street. I know great rich people and shitty broke folks, and vice versa. Strive to be a good person. Work your ass off so if/when opportunity strikes you can run with it (just like my Dad did.) Don’t judge a book by its cover.

But most importantly, build a life with people and things you love…things are just things, and money buys pleasures, not happiness.